Life, Loss and Living

It is inevitable. You will lose some or all of those closest to you at some point along the journey, just as others will lose you at some point. Life, at least as we know it here on earth (the rest would be another post entirely) is a finite time. Losing someone is not unique,…

The curse of high functioning depression

As I’ve travelled along in my life I’ve come to realize that there is a significant profile of people who have suffered tremendously at the mercy of their depressive brains who have good jobs, seldom miss a day of work, achieve heights and goals impressive to their peers, look put together, smile often, and laugh even more.

Photo Challenge: Resilient

2016 has been widely publicized as perhaps not the best year overall in human evolutionary history. Every time we turned around there was another death of a music/acting icon it seemed, and there was no shortage in the world of immense suffering in the form of war, natural disaster and simple human acts of cruelty…

A year.

A year ago, it began. A year ago I started to feel myself slipping into darkness. A year ago I wrote this: “To read what I’ve written is to believe I’m in a very dark place. The most frightening part of it all is that – I’m not. While I may find myself in a…

Double Trouble

Living with both an anxiety disorder and depression is a funny existence. Not funny ha-ha, just peculiar. Now that I seem to have settled into what will be my new normal self until one brain chemical or another decides to change the game – I find myself having to get used to the revised version…

Fairy tales and real life.

“The moral of this story is that no matter how much we try, no matter how much we want it…some stories just don’t have a happy ending.” It is a made up tale. It is a tale more sensational than Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. It trumps the Loch Ness monster,…

Strength, value and worth.

My question/statement for you for your blog is this..during your lowest of all moments, during the worst of your days, during the worst of all the worst you’ve gotten through this year, previous years, etc. how does your brain still put you down? Because most of us have gone through bad times, bad moments, bad…

Hope and faith in a disease born of hopelessness.

I decided to try something a bit different with my blog. Normally I write out of my own feelings in one particular moment/day/week. It occurred to me that perhaps those in my real life outside the realms of the blog world, particularly those who haven’t experienced chronic mental illness and have stood by me through…

First, do no harm.

Words are a fickle and funny thing. What one’s words mean depends on who is the one listening to them. What may seem an innocuous phrase to one can be a devastating phrase to another. The most frustrating part of depression is the lack of words to adequately explain it to those who don’t understand…

3,059 days that should’ve been

Dear Dad, You should’ve turned 68 years young tomorrow, but you’ve been gone for 8 years. You should’ve gotten to see me gotten to see me buy my first house, find my career, get my Masters degree but you didn’t. You should’ve been there when Danielle got her B.Ed. and found her passion in teaching,…

My life in two bottles.

One became two. For the past 7 months I tried to overcome the near unbearable sadness, I tried to rise above the forces that were causing me to drown, I tried to think positive, meditate, appreciate, exercise, and rest – but I kept sinking. I sunk so low I could see no light myself most…

This, that and the other world

There’s an inherent duality to depression, at least in my experience. Perhaps others who suffer from depression do not care as much about appearances (i.e. by all accounts looking and acting “normal” to outsiders) and in doing so they let all the cracks show through so others know how quickly they are falling apart. I,…