I’ll be the very first person to say that I am superb at ‘wasting’ my time doing things that are relatively unproductive. I spend too much time on the internet, too much time watching TV, too much time doing nothing other than just being with myself. But is time ever truly wasted if, in the moment, you are enjoying yourself? I don’t think so. If I want to nap and the thought of getting to makes me as giddy as a school girl – I think that’s a worthwhile use of my time. At the end of the day the purpose of life is to be happy, isn’t it?
It is sometimes in the most unproductive or unexpected moment that I find wonder and awe in the world. There is a lot of negativity in the world and a great deal of trivial complaints in the grand scheme of things. My iPhone is too slow, the cable TV isn’t working, it snowed too much, there’s not enough sun, my pillow’s too lumpy, there’s nothing I want to eat in the kitchen, etc. etc. I’m just as guilty of it but increasingly I’m more aware of it. At the end of the day look around you and actually see what you’re looking at. Look at the sun shining through the trees or on the water, the beautiful hues of pink and purple of the evening sky, the crisp sliver of the moon out in the sky, the flowers blooming…if you look, the world is a pretty darn phenomenal place. Whatever brought all of our surroundings into being, which is of course a debate for the ages, it is wondrous. Too often however, we forget to really look. It is listening without hearing, looking without seeing, touching without feeling, living without experiencing….these words are not synonyms. These words have depths that are very different.
In just about 4 weeks I will very happily be escaping this long winter for some time cruising the Caribbean. Amazing. Giddy as a school girl doesn’t even begin to describe how much I’m looking forward to it. In preparation I’ve been reading reviews of the ship we’re going on which is brand new. Among the joyous lauding of the new ship and the experience it gives you – the great food, great people, great sun and great time there I found the most negative review. The whole trip was awful, the food was awful, the entertainment was awful, this was awful, that was awful. It occurred to me in that moment that this person is probably a very unhappy soul who is going through life with standards so high for what is ‘good’ that little they experience ever achieves it. I’m not saying that I’m always spectacular at seeing the positives, but put me on a cruise ship with someone feeding me, cleaning up after me and entertaining me while I sit and soak up the sun, gain weight and do whatever I feel like – well short of the boat sinking, I’m going to have more positives than negatives.
I’m my own worst negative enemy. I’ll admit I’m overly hard on myself. But, I still find moments in the simple occurrences of my every day regular life that take my breath away and inspire that child-like awe that we all wish we could permanently recapture. It is in those moments that I remember that the world is, despite all of the negativity, pain and turmoil, a pretty phenomenal place and just being able to live the life I do – struggles and all – is really cool.
…If I learn nothing else in life, as long as I continue to see the beauty in the minutes, my living will be worthwhile.
Mental Health Musing - Thoughts from a Thoughful Mind 